Letting go of Phở

Thursday, April 6, 2017



April marked the most unforgettable month of this year, and it's only the beginning of April
This month, I learn how to let go of things and be mindful to make decisions that is close as a priority in life
Instead of keeping this thought to myself, I feel the need to pour it all out and share it with you, and here's why...

This month, I let go of
my return flight tickets from Jakarta to Vietnam, right on the day before my departure
a long overdue trip with the closest friends that we've been planning for months
a remarkable food tour in Hanoi by local university students
a 3day2night adventure on the boat overlooking the beautiful karst in Lan Ha Bay
a dream to do kayaking in one of the most iconic sight in Asia
the stupid conversations over a round table filled with Bánh mì, Phở, and the famous egg coffee
some meaningful conversations between all five of us that might only happen throughout the trip
teasing a few of them who will protest the idea of sleeping in a capsule hostel
admiring the heavy French influence in Vietnam modern days
a day trip to Hue in search of ancient tombs and their history
the proud moment to spend my own savings after working tirelessly for a trip abroad
the evening bike ride wandering through alleys and small bridges in Hoi An
being homesick on the last few days before going back home listening to Float' Pulang in between transit
feeling both exhilarated and tired upon the arrival to my homeland after 12 days, and grow to appreciate things more

I was feeling both devastated and relieved at the same time while cancelling that trip the day before. I was devastated because all of my expectations and the efforts that have gone to make that trip possible. Yet I felt also relieved knowing that I don't have to worry about my mother's health throughout that trip and that I can take a good care of her while she's sick. I can only imagine it would be too painful to be on a holiday while worrying and instantly checking up on her condition separated by thousand miles away.

It has been hard and I only hope for things to get better. I come to an understanding that we learn the most valuable life lessons only during the hardest moment. This time, to let go of a trip that you wanted to go so badly and choose what really matter to the heart. Although I'm such an avid fan of making plans. Somehow, we cannot compare a privilege of taking care of our parents with such thing as checking items off the bucket list. Plans shifted, unexpected things happen all of a sudden, and that's okay.

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