Fear of the unknown

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Taken from my personal journal
Bali, August 1st 2014

As a human being, the biggest barrier we encounter daily is how to overcome fear. A question I usually get from my friend and colleague is “How could you become so fearless about things?”
This might best occur to when I go on to adventurous places which some may feel afraid of going or when I become the first one who do the talking in front of class or when I simply doing mundane things like taking a long ride with public transportation all by myself.

Well while truthfully I have fears too. I wonder who doesn’t? Fear of not being good enough at what I’m doing, fear of not being loved, fear of doing new things, fear of changes, and the list go on. I still remember how one of my friends in college told me about how she was afraid of the future. Which path she should choose and the worst thing was how she thought she’s the only person in the entire universe who feel the pressure. I called this fear of the unknown.

I can tell her things like “Everything’s going to be okay” instead I chose not to and ask her to enjoy the ride. I convinced her that even Beyonce who considered as the so-called-woman who runs the world, has fears too. Even the most successful person has fears too about what’s going to happen in the future. 

At that time I can relate to her feelings. Since I often find myself in doubt to start doing new things like a personal project simply because I was afraid they would turn out bad or not as good as I’m hoping. I missed out on quite a lot of opportunities I can get by not trusting myself more and just go for it. And if you asked me how I feel about it, I feel grateful! I feel I learned a lot towards the process and it taught me how to overcome fears, trust myself more and have the guts to do things.

The worst scenario was when I ignore a commissioned project because I think I cannot do it. I set limit to my own capacity, which was bad. Later I get lost in my own thoughts that it’s actually wonderful how people can trust you to do specific things. The idea of them having me across in their mind to help them is just exhilarating. And my plan to overcome fear of the unknown is to trust myself more and see my self as a human being who will always have to learn and develop new skills in order to become a better person.

I currently read a book titled “The Secret Letters of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” and would like to end my first day writing challenge by quoting this wonderful line.

“Every time we step into the discomfort of growth and progress, we become free. The more fears we walk through, the more power we reclaim. In this way, we grow both fearless and powerful and thus are able to live the lives of our dreams.”

notes : I just recently completed my obligation as a communication student and got my bachelor degree. I was feeling proud of myself for getting through it and deliver my best until the end of journey. Until yesterday, I just feel completely overwhelmed and relieved at the same time with the fact that it's finally over. 

I finally realised that I was in my post-graduate-syndrome. I would personally define that kind of state in life as a reminder to once again reflect on all the things that I have done and the ultimate moment when being honest about "what to do next" is the most rewarding thing that we can do to save ourself from blaming things in the long run. 

So yeah, I think this is the first time I'm putting myself out there, by being vulnerable. I was browsing through my old journal and found this writing and how it can relate to my feelings. It also lead me to a decision that it's time to publish one of my writings, the one that I kept in my personal journal, here on the blog.

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